they were both devils
When my son was younger, I talked to him about dating—normal parent stuff. I wasn't sharing with him anything new; I was just affirming what he already knew to be true—relationships and our call to chastity out of profound respect for ourselves, one another, and God's design for life and love.
If you're a parent, I don't have to tell you that kids take certain truths and expectations and push back on them in different ways depending on the season of life they are in.
They challenge. They question why. They verify the source. …These are all necessary and good when done in charity and for a genuine search for truth. Although some teens (dare I say many teens) don't always walk this road with the charity required…
Enter my son's comments with an eye roll … Mom, I think it's quite ironic that you say these things considering your past...
The abridged version of my past includes a teen pregnancy and three abortion appointments.
Parents, here is where the rubber meets the road. Here is where your past, or maybe even your present, catches up to your role as a parent and your desire for them to walk a different path than you. When the two catch up, they either collide or fall in step with one another. You decide what happens.
I explained that I couldn't change my decisions, but I know what I learned from them. The consequences of my choices meant a difficult path for a long time. I explained to him that I look at what I have done in my rear-view mirror, not forgotten but a part of my path. I arrived at motherhood as a kid myself; for about a decade, I chose darkness, I chose to stay broken, I chose to wander in a desert, hungry and thirsty, with no idea where I was headed. I chose to deny Jesus, say yes to temptation, and even open the gate for the prowling lion…
But today — I chose differently. Simple as that.
I have spoken to many parents who, because of their past —or battles they still face, feel inadequate to lead their children towards heaven. They say, how in the world am I supposed to lead my children when I struggle to stay on His path myself?
I get the thinking trap; I struggle with it sometimes, too… Because of our sins and our wounds, we believe we aren't the right person to set our kiddo's feet on the path to heaven.
That's precisely what the devil wants you to think.
The truth is, your past has shaped you. Like a piece of glass on the ocean floor, the tides moving in and out have created something beautiful. Your edges have softened, but your story remains. Every surge that pushed forward and pulled back was God's providence over your life, and prayers were said in your name. You didn't reach this point by chance; God placed you on the shore and a child into your arms.
He chose you to be their parent.
This week, as we continue to walk Christ’s Passion through the Stations of the Cross, remember Peter. Remember that he denied our Lord three times and was still chosen. God didn't choose Peter because he wasn't going to fall; He chose him because he would get back up. As Venerable Fulton Sheen wrote, What happens to us is not so important, but rather how we react to what happens. Judas and Peter both sinned against the Lord, and He called them both devils. But one became a Saint because he overcame his weakness with the help of God's grace. (Way to Inner Peace, Ch. 40)
Remember, He chose you. He walked the road to Calvary with you tucked within His heart because He knows you struggle with sin. As a parent, there are times when you will fall. Sometimes, your past will catch up with the present, and you'll feel too low to keep walking, too low to keep having these meaningful conversations with your kids…
Don't stop.
Remember how much He loves you. Keep your gaze fixed on Him. Thank Him for His mercy. Be the parent your kids need you to be. Be the parent God asks you to be. Love His truth. Teach it to your kids. Don't be distracted. Regardless of where you have been, know where you stand now.
Parents, we're in this together. Saint Peter, pray for us.
Continue to Pray, Grow, and Serve with your children. Don’t forget our Stations of the Cross Series - You can download all 14 beautiful Stations of the Cross here.
